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  Anyway, the point is, when I got out of the cab and lugged my suitcase up to Meredith’s door, my heart was feeling lighter and I was even starting to smile a little bit. Maybe this night wouldn’t be such a disaster after all. The doorman let me in and even tipped his cap as I walked by. I love it when they do that.

  Meredith lived in an older building, with a small, clanking elevator that seemed to take forever to get from the ground to the second floor, where her apartment was. When the elevator doors opened, I took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway. Here it was: the start of my first big night out as a normal high schooler. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I walked down the hall to apartment 2B and knocked.

  Meredith and Judith were both already there, and they came to the door together.

  “Oh my God, you look so pretty,” said Meredith, stepping aside so I could come in. “Let me take your bag.”

  “Oh, no, that’s okay,” I said awkwardly as she took it out of my hands and went down the hallway. Judith rolled her eyes.

  “Meredith’s the perfect hostess,” she said. “Trust me, there’s no stopping her.”

  Even if Judith was being sarcastic, it really was almost true. Meredith’s apartment was sort of tiny, but in an adorable, cozy kind of way, and you could tell she’d set up for us coming over. In the living room, which had orange walls so it felt sunshiny even though it was dark outside, she had a bunch of snacks—homemade cookies and kettle-cooked chips and hummus and pita bread—all laid out on the coffee table, and in the corner of the room an ice cream maker was buzzing as it churned. I suddenly realized I was starving—I hadn’t eaten anything since the yogurt I’d had for lunch in the cafeteria that day.

  “Meredith, this is so nice,” I called down the hall to her. “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”

  “Oh, it’s no trouble. We worked on it together,” said a kindly old lady, coming out of what I guessed was the kitchen with a dish towel. She had short gray hair and glasses, and she was wearing this really cool turquoise dress with oversize yellow buttons that I could tell she’d made herself. “I’m Meredith’s grandma. You can call me Amelia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said, shaking her hand. The way her eyes crinkled up when she smiled reminded me of Mrs. Santa Claus.

  “Meredith’s mother is doing inventory over at the shop, but I suppose you’ll meet her later when you come by to pick up your bags.”

  “I live just down the block,” Judith explained, making herself comfortable on the couch, which was this vintage-looking red velvet thing, “so I figured you and Meredith could just leave your sleeping bags and stuff here till after the party. Then we can come back here and pick them up.”

  “It’s so great that you live right by each other,” I said, feeling jealous. How cool would it be to hang out here all the time? The whole place smelled like cookies.

  I sat on the couch with Judith. After a few minutes Meredith came out and we all sat around, scarfing down hummus and talking about our classes together at school. It was so great to just be hanging out with people who weren’t all having nervous breakdowns and totally depending on me to set things right. Meredith did a great imitation of her English teacher, and Judith and I both cracked up. Then I told them about my history teacher, who was sort of obsessed with the Kennedy assassination, and they thought it was pretty funny too. Then the conversation turned to boys.

  “That was almost as funny as Meredith’s story,” Judith said when she stopped laughing. She ate a chip. “You should tell that one to Bennett.”

  “Well, he’s a sophomore. He probably knows Mr. Martin already.”

  “God, Flan, Bennett’s so cute.” Meredith went over to the ice cream maker and started spooning out mugfuls for each of us. I saw it was mint chocolate chip—my favorite. “It’s awesome he likes you so much.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe he doesn’t like me that much.”

  “No way! You know, I bet at the party tonight he won’t talk to any other girls,” said Meredith.

  “What would you do if he asked you to be his girlfriend?” asked Judith.

  I felt embarrassed for some reason, and I took a long minute to swallow my first bite of ice cream. “I doubt that’ll happen. I mean, he practically just met me.”

  “I think it just seems like it won’t happen because it hasn’t yet.” Meredith plopped back down on the couch. “But I bet we’ll all have boyfriends someday.”

  “I went out with a guy once,” said Judith. “Well, I mean, not literally went out. He’s the son of these friends of my parents and he goes to boarding school in New Hampshire. But we were pen pals for a while. So, I mean, it’s not totally hopeless.”

  “I remember that guy.” Meredith grinned. “He sent you that bracelet in the mail, with the little charm of a pelican on it.”

  I thought about Jonathan, my ex, and decided to spill the beans. That was one secret I didn’t have to keep anyway. “I kind of went out with this guy once, back in eighth grade.”

  “Really?” asked Judith and Meredith at the same time.

  This was it: I had to tell them all about him—how we met, how we used to hang out in my room during Patch’s crazy parties, how he used to take me out to clubs and compliment my shoes. Otherwise, I would be being dishonest for real, and for no other reason than being afraid of what they might think. But with them both looking at me so eagerly like that, I just couldn’t do it. So I looked down at my spoon instead.

  “He was okay, but we never got to spend that much time together. He was more into hanging out with his friends.”

  “What was it like, though?” Judith pressed, leaning her elbows on the coffee table. “Did you guys hold hands and stuff? Or did you mostly just talk on the phone?”

  “Did you ever dance with him?” asked Meredith, crunching on a carrot stick.

  I tried to think of a good story. “Well, this one time, at Lotus—”

  “Wait, Lotus?” Judith sat back and scrutinized me. “You mean, that club in the Village? The one that’s, like, impossible to get into?”

  I shrugged. “It’s not impossible. He was …” I wanted to explain about the Insiders, the way they have a free pass to pretty much anyplace in the city, but it all just seemed too complicated all of a sudden, and I knew in my heart Meredith and Judith just wouldn’t understand. “You know, he was older.”

  They both stared at me, sort of awed and freaked out at the same time, like I’d just confessed to being Catwoman or something.

  “Wow,” said Meredith.

  After an awkward silence, we decided that even if we were going to be fashionably late, we might as well go ahead and get ready. So we all went back to Meredith’s room to put on accessories and do one another’s hair.

  Meredith’s room was really tiny—a closet, practically—but it was super colorful, with bright green chiffon-y curtains hanging down around the bed and a bunch of paintings she’d done all over the walls. In a corner of the room she had a little yellow desk, and along with all the books and papers she had for class there was half a rainbow-colored sweater that she was crocheting.

  She had tons of accessories too: big beaded necklaces and little jingly charm bracelets, batiked silk scarves and skinny leather belts. I settled on wearing just one necklace she’d made out of a lot of little vintage buttons, but Judith ended up putting on a bunch of scarves and bracelets that made her simple tank-top-and-jeans outfit look way more exotic, almost like a belly dancer’s or something. Then Judith did Meredith’s makeup in such a way that it brought out her eyes and cheekbones, without looking fake or overdone at all. It was amazing the way Meredith and Judith complemented each other; it made me a little jealous, even. I’ve had a lot of best friends, but never one who brought out all my best qualities like that. Maybe if I got to know the two of them better, I thought, they’d have the same effect on me.

  Meredith changed her outfit like five times until she settled on this neat patchwork sundress that she and her mom ha
d made together sometime during the summer. Then we were all ready to go. We said good-bye to Meredith’s grandma, went outside and down to the corner, and I stepped off the curb to hail another cab.

  Chapter 17

  Round and Round it Goes….

  We really could just take the subway, you know,” said Judith as a yellow taxi came to a stop in front of us. “That would probably be cheaper.”

  “No, there’re three of us. So it’s the same, practically,” said Meredith, opening the door. “Flan’s right—this makes more sense.”

  I climbed in after Meredith. Judith got in and told the driver the address, and pretty soon we were speeding toward the party. I looked at my watch: 8:15. So much for fashionably late. We’d be lucky if we weren’t early.

  “I hope Jules is there,” Meredith sighed, looking out the window of the cab. “He’s cute.”

  “Not as cute as Eric,” Judith pointed out.

  “I thought you said he was a snob,” I said.

  “Yeah, but when he’s as cute as that, who cares? It’s not like I’m going to pay attention to anything he says anyway.”

  “Well, Jules likes animals. Remember that story he told about his dog? I think that’s a cute quality in a guy.”

  “Listen, there’re going to be a million guys at this party way cuter than Jules. I’m sure at least one of them will have a gerbil or something.” Judith flipped her hair back.

  I laughed, and Meredith rolled her eyes and looked back out the window.

  Even though Bennett had invited us to the party, he wasn’t the one throwing it. It was actually being thrown by this other sophomore guy, Devon, who lived in a high-rise in Chelsea. Chelsea is a weird part of town, especially at night, and especially around the Flower District. Sixth Avenue is okay, but all the little side streets are lined with these weird wholesale shops filled with novelty sunglasses and belt buckles and crazy little battery-operated toys that light up and play off-key music when you push a button. After about six P.M., these places all shut down and you might as well be walking through a ghost town made of iron gates and padlocks. Plus, most of the restaurants close early because they mainly just do a lunch business for all the office workers in the area. Sometimes you’ll find an ice cream shop or a pizza place to go to, but not often.

  So, when we got out of the cab in front of that guy Devon’s building, it was spooky and deserted, and Meredith, Judith, and I decided the hell with being fashionably late, and walked into his building.

  It was really pretty inside and much friendlier looking than the empty street. The lobby was huge, with a fake waterfall against one wall and lots of mirrors on the others. There was one doorman at the door and right in the middle of the lobby was a big desk with another doorman sitting at it. We told him who we were and he sent us to the elevator.

  We rode up, giggling about nothing and feeling kind of nervous. I did anyway. Even though I’d been to a million high school parties with my brother and his friends, this was still my first high school party that was completely my own, and I didn’t want to screw it up. Plus, going to a party with Meredith and Judith was really different than being with SBB, or Liesel, or even Jonathan. None of us was going to know very many people, and, against all odds, it seemed like I was the least shy one of the three of us.

  When the elevator doors opened, though, I knew one thing for sure: at least we weren’t too early. All the way down the hall I could hear people talking and laughing and the newest AFI album playing on the stereo. I walked up and, taking a deep breath, knocked on the door.

  “It’s open!” several voices yelled from inside.

  We went in. In spite of all the noise we’d heard from down the hall, things were pretty laid-back inside. A bunch of kids were sprawled around on couches or pillows on the floor, drinking punch and talking to one another. Jules was leaning against a counter, talking intently to a long-haired guy in a pair of Birkenstocks and cargo shorts, so he didn’t seem to notice us. There were a plastic tray of veggies and dip, some balloons, and paper plates with pictures of cakes on them. I hadn’t realized it was Devon’s birthday, but fortunately nobody seemed to have brought presents anyway.

  Besides, from the look of this place, he didn’t need them. The big-screen TV was rigged up with every kind of video game system known to man, way more than we even have at our house, and a pile of teenager-looking DVDs lay on the floor down below it: School of Rock, X-Men 2, The Girl Next Door. I didn’t see how anybody could watch movies in this apartment, though—windows covered two walls, and the view was amazing.

  Two guys were playing Ping-Pong at a table set up in the corner. One of them was Bennett. When he saw us, he dropped his paddle on the table and started to say hi, but his opponent, this tall thin guy in an anime T-shirt, had just served, and the plastic ball hit Bennett in the ear. What was it with him and ears?

  “Hey,” said Bennett, trying to act like nothing had happened. “Flan. I’m glad you could make it.”

  “Me too,” I said, feeling sort of dopey and happy at the same time.

  “You want to play doubles?” asked the anime kid, glancing at me and Meredith.

  “Hey, where did Judith go?” I looked around and saw her. She was standing awkwardly behind the sofa, waiting for Eric to notice her. Unfortunately, he was sandwiched between two hot-looking sophomore girls and didn’t appear to be noticing much of anything else, and Judith was too shy to talk to him. She was staring at her nails like there was no tomorrow.

  Before Meredith and I could get roped into a game of Ping-Pong—which I suck at anyway—this sun-bleached-looking guy who I assumed was Devon stood up and tapped a knife on the side of his glass Coke bottle to make an announcement.

  “So, guys,” he said, “I know this might seem kind of junior high-ish to some of you …”

  A few people groaned, like they knew what was coming.

  “But it’s a birthday tradition of mine, so just chill out and swallow your pride.” Devon downed the rest of his Coke in one gulp and, shoving aside the crudités and paper plates, set the bottle down on its side in the middle of the coffee table.

  “Devon, is this the only way you can get girls to make out with you?” asked one of the hot-looking girls on the couch.

  “Hey, I just go with what works. Everybody, around the table. Come on, come on. Who wants to go first?”

  When everyone formed a circle, Meredith and I ended up getting pushed right up by the coffee table where the bottle was. We sat down on the carpet and looked at each other. Meredith nervously whispered, “Oh my God.”

  “I’ll do it,” said the guy in cargo shorts who’d been talking to Jules earlier. “And I don’t need to trick anybody into making out with me.”

  A bunch of girls giggled at this, but he didn’t look so bad to me—kind of cute, even, in a guy-playing-acoustic-guitar-on-a-park-bench sort of way. Still, I crossed my fingers that the bottle wouldn’t spin toward me. I didn’t want to end up kissing some random guy I didn’t even know when I hadn’t kissed Bennett right yet.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to. The first time the long-haired guy spun, the bottle turned toward Devon, who loudly protested that that didn’t count. The second time, it ended up pointing to a cute black-haired girl on the other side of the coffee table who looked almost as shy as me, Meredith, and Judith. Everyone cheered, though, and even though she was blushing, she looked like she was enjoying the attention.

  The long-haired guy walked over and, before she could even get up, gave her a long, friendly kiss on the mouth. It was nothing like the movies, since their lips just sort of smooshed together and they both turned their heads in the same direction, so their noses bumped into each other. But it was really sweet, in a weird way. When they’d stopped, several people applauded and hooted while the long-haired guy walked back to his corner of the room.

  During all the commotion, Judith made her way over and sat down to my left, sandwiching herself in between Meredith and me. I grinned at her, and she
gave a sort of “isn’t this exciting” shiver. The three of us giggled and nudged one another in the ribs, when something happened that I totally wasn’t expecting. From the Ping-Pong table, Bennett called out, “I’ll go next!”

  My first thought was, Oh no, he’s going to wind up making out with some other girl. But then Bennett looked over his shoulder at me all significantly as he walked over to the coffee table. Suddenly, my heart was in my throat and I could feel my palms sweating. Bennett reached out and spun the Coke bottle really slowly, like he was trying to get it to turn a certain direction, and over all the catcalls and laughs I felt like I could hear the glass sides scraping every grain of wood in the tabletop. I held my breath.

  The bottle stopped, pointing between me and this red-haired girl in a Lacoste polo shirt to my right.

  “Her or me, Bennett?” she teased, balancing on the arm of a chair. “Your call.”

  “I think it was pointing more at her,” he said, looking right at me. Then he walked over, took hold of my shoulders, and kissed me very deliberately. Right. On. The. Mouth.

  He whispered something to me as he took a step back, but I could hardly hear him over all the noise everyone else was making—clapping and hooting and cheering. I glanced around and saw Meredith and Judith drumming on the coffee table and yelling, “Go, Flan!” I couldn’t have felt happier. This time, it was a real, bona fide kiss: there were no ears involved, and it hadn’t been an accident either.